I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
