He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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