God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
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