One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
