Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
