I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
