Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
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