I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I will pee on everything he values.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
