What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
