I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
