If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
