I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
