wat bout pragnant strippers??
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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