im holly from the hills drunk
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
