i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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