my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
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