What a fucking waste of an outfit
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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