think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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