I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
