I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
