I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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