people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
