the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize