i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
