Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
