she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
The Olympian is in my bed
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
