we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Randomize
