What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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