I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
