Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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