In the future we'll all be gay
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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