No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I love you. Go after that dick
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
