My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize