Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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