dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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