I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I am never drinking with the goths again.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
