She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
