that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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