new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize