I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
this boner is exhausting
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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