Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
