Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate