You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.