I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Randomize
