So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
