I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
