Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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