There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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