If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
