Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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