Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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