Grow some girl-balls and come out already
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
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