I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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