party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
